Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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