I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Someone shit on the floor
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
