I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This is classic penis vs brain.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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