my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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