you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
