I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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