i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
