I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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