No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
