This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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