yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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