I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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