he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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