i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My cat gives me a boner
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
