Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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