Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
