I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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