And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
