Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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