Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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