the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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