Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
