So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
