I just threw up on my dentist
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize