she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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