Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pooping to opera.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
