i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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