Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
