Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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