Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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