So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
