found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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