i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
