Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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