he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
