Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
