There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
