he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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