Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
