we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
