And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
