is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
