I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Are my feet made of real feet?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize