I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
