Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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