i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
