If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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