But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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