she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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