I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
