I hope mine doesn't look like that
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
