just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
