That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
