his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
