Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You are a genius and a whore.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
