We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
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You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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