I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize