when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
