My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
