garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
