I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
