Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
