I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
