He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
