I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
