I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize